Patients and Carers - Supporting Children

Having to tell a child that a loved one is dying can be extremely difficult and painful.  You may struggle to find the words that you think that your child will understand, and feel unsure how best to prepare and support them. You may feel a strong urge to protect or shield your child from information, but we know that the best way to support children at this time is to include them and help them to understand what is happening so that you can help them and find ways to cope.

The leaflets and links have been designed to assist you at this difficult time.  There are publications for different age groups based upon our understanding of children's developmental ages, emotional maturity and likely understanding of the concepts of death and dying.

Allow your child the opportunity to ask questions and give honest answers to their concerns, not overburdening them with long or complicated explanations.  Give reassurances that support will be given to them and encourage them to talk about any things that they are worried or upset about.

It is helpful to speak to their nursery, school or college and advise them what has happened so that extra support and consideration can be given to them at this time.

Please note that the publications for 5-11 year olds are designed for you to use with your child whilst explaining about the situation and not to be given to children without your guidance and support.

In addition, here are some links to other helpful sites and help lines which may be useful to you and your family at this time.

• Winston's Wish 08452 03 04 05
• RD4U 0808 808 1677
• Childhood Bereavement Network 020 7843  6309
• The Down's Syndrome Association 0845 230 0372
• The National Autistic Society 0845 070 400 4393
• BILD (The British Institute of Learning Difficulties) 01562 723 010
• The Child Bereavement Charity 01494 568 900. The UK's leading charity that supports families and educates professionals, both when a child dies and when a child is bereaved.

If you would like specific advice about children attending funerals, information is available by contacting St Christopher's Hospice, London, telephone number 0208 778 9252.

We hope that this site will be of help to you, losing a parent or close relative is undoubtedly one of the most painful losses that a child can experience, but we know that with information, support and reassurance, children are incredibly resilient.

Remember, the support that you are giving your child today will help them in the coming weeks and months and will be a very important steer as they grieve and learn to adjust and cope with the changes in their lives.